Came home, was pretty down. I miss him though. Whatever I do, i thought of him.. Even though imade new friends, try to move on but, I still think of him. Happy 1st year baby. he might not seee this though but today is the day, I always wanted to be with him. !st year. He promised that he would buy me an enagement ring, he promise me despite what he would marry me but maybe, i scrrewed things up. But if he love me, he would want to be with me despite what.


You know, i truly love him. Like whote heartedly, even thou how cute the guy is, how nice he treats me or whateever he has, zs don't have, it won't work because, i m commited to zs, my heart only has him. It hurts pretty bad now. Even though how much i tried to distract my thoughts away from him but it just don't work. I know he hates me now or maybe, he's prepared to move on or probably, he's happpier with me now. I Can't give him happiness even thou i beg to give it one last try but I would hope to make him happy again.

Right now, the only way to make him happy is to leave him.


I done wrong to him, i wanan make up but i don't know how to. to him, I can never change, to him, i m hopeless bitch, I m shit but to me, he's someone i love.


Someone i m willing to change just the matter of time, i only need him to be paitent and forgiving this time.. just this time but he can;t anymore. I lost him but.. whatever it is... I hope he's happy. I didn't mean to screw things up, I was angry, that he wouldn't give me a chance but i know, it was me who make him give up hope for me but I beg so hard.... just fo another try. He was mean to me, i deserve it but i believe that, our love, deserve another chance, just one last chance, i would do anyhting for him even if i have to scarifice my happines just to be with him, it doesn't matter cause to be with him, that's my happiness.


Happy 1st year anniversary baby. I love you. Even till noww, I still love you like how I always do. Even thou i know, he wont get to see this but.... I love you. I really do. PEople who know me will know, when I am in love, no one can take my love for you away from me. No one.





The fresh pain.....